September 13, 2006

Girl #1: I ate this thing ... it was, like, a candle. Or a potato.
Girl #2: Yeah, no, it was a potato.

- Overheard by Kelsey; Bus 23

Forrest: He was, like, a crackhead and he hung out with long-haired, dirty hippies.

- Overheard by Kelli; Bus 23

Girl: Be careful sitting down or you might end up on my mouth!

- Overheard by Kelli; WJHS

Teacher to student: Is Puff the Magic Dragon still your friend? Still hittin' that pipe?

- Overheard by Kelli; WJHS: Cafeteria, Lunch B

Forrest: My stepmom would be like, [high voice] "Do you like this dress or this one?" Then my dad would be like, [silence]. And fifteen minutes later, he'd be like, [low voice] "That one."

- Overheard by Kelsey; Bus 23

Boy: We don't wanna be like Adolf Hitler, runnin' around all, 'RAH RAH!'

- Overheard by Kelli; WJHS

Boy: What happened? Why can't we go inside?
Girl: Maybe someone was murdered.
Boy: Lucky.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 5th Period

Boy #1: Number 'B.'
Teacher: Number 'B?'
Boy #1: Er, letter 'B.'
Teacher: Yeah, like the Beatles song.
Boy #1: There's a Beatles song called "Letter B?"
Teacher: Yeah.
Boy #2: Do you mean "Let It Be?"
Teacher: Sure.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 6th period

Boy #1: Dude, I saw lesbians!
Boy #2: No way!
Boy #1: Yeah! I was on my to seventh hour, to English, and I just saw them! They were just ... there!

- Overheard by Kelsey: WJHS, hallway post-seventh hour

Bus Driver: Ladies and gentlemen ... and Forrest!

- Overheard by Kelli; Bus 23

Teacher: Nobility is like mini kings and queens.

- Overheard by Kelli; WJHS, 5th period

Teacher: I'm not for the death penalty -- you know it costs more money?

- Overheard by Kelli: WJHS, 5th period

Teacher: I always think about Celebrity Deathmatch when we talk about the philosophers Hobbes and Locke.

- Overheard by Kelli; WJHS, 5th period

Teacher: Government is like a big sea monster.

- Overheard by Kelli; WJHS, 5th period

Girl: So, were people, like, bigger back then?
Boy: Cavemen? They were huge!
Girl: No!, They were, like, tiny cave mouses people.
Boy: No, they were giant ... they lived in caves.
Girl: How could they live in caves if they were so big?
Boy: Bears live in caves. Bears are really big.
Girl: So, like, people were like big bears? Whatever.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS 6th period

Employee: The server hasn't blue-screened since we put that pyramid on top.

- Overheard by Scott; Newz Group

Boy #1: Who carries needle around in their pockets?
Boy #2: I do.
Boy #1: Yeah, what about when you fall and puncture your scrotum?

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS 6th period

Student: I think there's a typo on number six.
Teacher: Oh, yeah, it's supposed to say "for," not "fuh."

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS 3rd period

Teacher: Yeah, Thomas Jefferson loved John Locke. He was a real Locke lover. Wait ... that sounded really strange ... no, he liked Locke's ideas. Yeah.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS 3rd period

Student: Mr. Johnson, can I go to the bathroom?
Mr. Johnson: Why do you need to go to the bathroom?
Student: [thinking] Uh ... so I can expel some liquids?

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS 6th period

(send quotes to rbrduk AT centurytel DOT net)