April 4, 2007: The Post-Spring Break CoMo/Florida Overheard

Blonde Girl: I wish they graded on your bra, 'cause I would get an A ... get it?

- WJHS; after last bell

Girl: You know how when you sneeze, everyone says 'God bless you?' Well, when you cough, no one says anything. Should they be like 'Please don't choke to death?' Or 'Please don't get anything gross on me?'

- DELTONA, FLORIDA

Urugayan woman with thick accent: You need to be quieter. They can hear you in the Koreas!

- WJHS; 5th period

Guy: Oooh, do you like him? Is he your man?
Girl: No, he's in jail to much to be my man.

- WJHS; 4th period

Girl: Yeah, his scar is, like, this long. He walks around with all of his tattoos and these scars and I'm just like 'Put a shirt on!'

- WJHS; 4th period

March 14, 2007

Teacher: So ... Cost Push inflation, that's the scary one.
Student: Scary? Do you have nightmares about it?
Teacher: No, but I did have a really weird nightmare last night. I'll tell you about it ... I know what you're thinking: "Why is this strange man talking to us?"

- WJHS, period 3

Kid: Micah says you two go out.
Micah: Yeah, we do.
Kid: Do you?
Girl: Do we what?
Micah: Don't we go out?
Girl: Go where?
Micah: Out ... together.
Girl: Out of town?
Micah: No! Don't we go out?
Girl: Who's we?
Micah: Me and you! We!
Girl: Oh, yeah, we do.

- WJHS, period 6

Girl: Oh my god, did you see her shorts? They're, like, not even there. They're see through, and, like, in her vagina! Ew.

- WJHS

Girl #1: I knew him before he was cool.
Girl #2: When was he cool?

- WJHS

Boy #1: Girls are, like, always on their period.
Boy #2: No.
Boy #3: What do you mean?
Boy #1: They have PMS, and then their period, and then after their period.
Boy #3: Duh.
Boy #2: Who told you that?
Boy #1: Carly. She's a girl.
Boy #2: Dude, Carly's messing with you.
Boy #3: What's PMS?
Boy #1: Pre-menstrual stress. And then there's post menstrual stress, or something.
Boy #2: Whatever.

- Bus 23

Annoying kid: Everyone hates you! Everyone! Except Jesus! Jesus loves everyone. [singing] Jesus loves Forrest, this I know, because the Bible tells me so! Ha!

- Bus 23

February 28, 2007

Guy #1: I smell yogurt!
Girl: What the hell?
Guy #2: You know yogurt can make you not have cancer?

- 3rd period; WJHS

Crazy teacher: You all are thinking and not paying attention!

- WJHS; Overheard by CC

Kid: Your parents are incest. How does that make you feel?

- Bus 23

Girl #1: It's so gross. When they go to the bathroom, they probably, like, stab themselves in the vagina.
Girl #2: All I heard was 'stab the vagina.'

- A Lunch; WJHS

Teacher (to loud kids in the hallway): I know your too late getting to class, but do you think that you can be quiet and not disrupt my math class?!
Girl: Oooooooh!

- 6th period; WJHS

Fucking douchebag: Hey Forrest, you're such a dick-for!
Forrest: What's a dick for?
Fucking douchbag: Haha, you don't know what a dick's for!
Random kid: 'Cause he never used it!

- Bus 23

Eighth grader: We're going to the planetarium later.
Ninth grader: Really? I love the planetarium. It's so dark, you can hit people and they don't know who it is.

- before 1st bell; WJHS

February 27, 2007

Mo' quotes, friends of mine!

Girl: Bitch, watch your language! There's children in here!

- Science wing after last bell; WJHS

Girl: Oh my god, it was crazy. Her brother was there and I saw him and she didn't even know he was here. I was like "I saw your brother" and she was like "He's here?" It was crazy.

- 1st Period; WJHS

Girl #1: So it was a baby?
Girl #2: And no one would pick it up?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #3: But wasn't it a baby?

- Hallway; WJHS

Girl #1: My mom calls me a bitch all the time.
Girl #2: Um, cause you are a bitch.
Girl #1: No ...
Girl #2: Yeah.

- 7th period; WJHS

Substitute teacher: (reading off attendance) Guh ... um ... Guh ... Gable? Is it Gable?
Girl: There's no Cable.
Substitute teacher: Is it Cable?
(silence)
Substitute teacher: Uh ... Caleb? Is there a Caleb?
Guy: He's not here.
Substitute teacher: He's absent?
Guy: He's in rehab.

- 5th period; WJHS

Kid: Are you our teacher this hour?
Substitute with blinding pink lipstick: Yes.
(she takes her bag and leaves, quite quickly)
Kid: Okay.

- 6th period; WJHS

Girl: I don't think that Pan's Labyrinth should have win. It just looked weird. Like a fairy tale. A fucking rated R fairy tale.

- 4th period; WJHS

Douchebag: Shut up, motherfucker. Er, grandmotherfucker.
(silence)
Douchebag: Get it? Instead of fucking mothers, you fuck grandmas! That's gross!

- Bus 23

October 16, 2006

After what seems like an eternity, the quotes you have been craving are here.

Guy: Last night, we made a hillbilly gay.

- WJHS, 2nd period

Girl: Were you there when I sat in the nacho cheese?

- WJHS, 2nd period

Girl: I want a pretzel.
Concession Stand Girl: We're all out of nachos.

- West-Oakland football game

Random girl: Yeah, it was so weird! I woke up and I was like "where are my pants?" and Dawn was like "you threw up on them" and I went "well, where are they!?" And she was like "I took them off you but don't worry, it was dark." And I was like "Oh my God!" She took my pants off in a room full of boys! And I didn't even know.

- WJHS, 6th period

Assistant Principal: How's French going?
Student: Okay.
Asst. Principal: You mean "esta bien"?

- WJHS, before 4th period

Girl: It was so funny. They all thought I spoke French and I just kept saying "oui!"

- WJHS, 1st period

Teacher: So why would the mainly conservative Supreme Court make that decision?
Student: 'Cause conservatives hate queers?
Teacher: Can you rephrase that, please?

- 3rd period

Girl: It smells like Christmas in here.

- Bus 23

Boy #1: It's warm in here.
Boy #2: Yeah ... warm.
Boy #3: Really? Cause I'm ... warm.
Boy #2: Yeah, and outside it's not ...
Boy #1: Warm.
Boy #3: Yeah.

- Bus 23

Chick #1: I have something stuck in my throat.
Chick #2: Eww.
Chick #1: Wanna get it out?

- WJHS, West Walk

Student #1: What day did she say we can bring in hot chocolate?
Student #2: I don't know.
Student #1: I miss South Park.
Student #2: Yeah, me too.

- WJHS, 5th period

Girl #1: My stomach hurts. Maybe I have appendicitis. What does that feel like?
Me (Kelsey): It hurts.
Girl #2: Yeah, but isn't that in your uterus?

- WJHS, 5th period

Girl #1: Will you shut up!?
Girl #2: I'm not being loud. I can't even hear myself think!

- WJHS, after last bell

Stayed tuned, beaches, and e-mail me stuff you hear at rbrduk AT centurytel DOT net.

September 24, 2006

Girl #1: I cried last night.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I missed the first twilight fest, in like, three years.

- Overheard by Kelsey & Kelli; WJHS, before school


Girl #1: It smells like gummie bears in here!

- Overheard by Kelli & Kelsey; WJHS, before school

September 19, 2006 - Talk Like A Pirate Day!

(Bell rings.)
Teacher: Oh, thank God.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

Kid: Dude, it'd suck to have AIDS.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

Wannabe Gangbanger: I'm not a gangbanger -- I don't wanna get shot. But I like the way they look, ya know?

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, West Walk

Girl: I'm not as stupid as I look ... I'm only half as stupid as I look.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 1st period

Teacher: Okay, now you're going to see sick people. If you've never seen sick people before, it could be strange.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

Girl, on health video: He's dead already. Yeah, he died. You don't have to be from the ghetto to get AIDS. Nope.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

Guy, on health video: You can't get HIV from the air ... no. Or from dishes. No, you can't get AIDS from a dish.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

Old Lady, on health video: You never know who you're havin' sex with. It's better to be protective and protected.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

Guy: Lighten up guys, it's just AIDS.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 2nd period

HardXCore Kid: Yeah, I got locked up. I called it the concrete jungle ... because it was a concrete jungle. Yeah.

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, West Walk

Kid #1: PBS ... so it's to blame?
Kid #2: What? Where's the plane?

- Overheard by Kelsey; WJHS, 4th period

(Gah! Email quotes to rbrduk AT centurytel DOT net .... PLEASE!)